so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
