my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
