they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
