john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
