She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
