There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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