Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Buhtt sex?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
