I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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