I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
