I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
