Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
