i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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