Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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