im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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