this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
