Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
