Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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