as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
