It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
