idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
