Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
