Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
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