the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
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Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
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You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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