i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
