We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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