So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
