Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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