Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
