turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
