just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
