So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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