This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
