yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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