the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
