What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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