careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
