My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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