whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
