I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
