the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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