Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
