so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
They have beer where we have blood.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
