Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
