so explain again why im purple
no
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
