She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
