girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize