Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
