Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
meet me or not, i'm out of control
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
