he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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