shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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