i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
