I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
