so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
