very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
