Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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