Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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