Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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