you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
