what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
