Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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