5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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