8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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