Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
