from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
