i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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