How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
