Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
