you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Are we still banned from the library?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize