sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
