So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
