Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
